Every organisation has values it likes to talk about.
Trust, respect, collaboration, accountability and teamwork. We often see these values on company websites, in presentations and in messages leaders share with their employees.
However, people do not judge values only by what we tell them. They pay much more attention to what we actually do every day.
Imagine a team where the importance of collaboration is constantly emphasised, yet the person who regularly takes credit for other people’s work gets promoted or a company that highlights how much it values employee well-being, while expecting people to be available at all times. Perhaps open communication is encouraged in meetings, but when someone expresses a different opinion, their honesty is not particularly well received.
The message people receive in these situations is quite clear. What matters is not what is written in company documents, but what is rewarded, accepted or quietly overlooked in practice.
And this is where trust begins to weaken.
In my experience working with people, the disconnect between what we are told and what we actually experience can often be felt in the body. You might notice your stomach tightening when you need to speak up about something unfair, or feel the urge to keep your thoughts to yourself, even when you know that having the conversation could be helpful. As I always say, the body knows before you do.
Over time, people begin to adapt to what they see. They offer fewer suggestions, choose their words more carefully and avoid situations where they might face criticism not because they lack ideas or do not care, but because experience has taught them what is truly welcomed in their workplace and what is not.
This is why leadership is not simply about good intentions or well-worded values. It is reflected in everyday decisions, in who we give opportunities to, how we respond to mistakes, whose efforts we recognise, and whether we have the courage to speak up when someone acts against the values we claim to stand for.
Of course, not every decision will be met with enthusiasm. Sometimes a leader has to make a decision that will disappoint someone but even then, they can be clear, fair and willing to explain the reasons behind it.
People do not expect perfect leaders. They need to be able to trust what their leaders say and do.
When there is a gap between words and actions, it is important to recognise it. Not so that we can judge ourselves, but so that we can understand the message we are sending and what we can change. After all, every decision we make teaches someone something. The question is whether it teaches them what we actually want to communicate.
If you were to identify what your leader truly values based on their everyday actions, what would you say?
