You are your own best motor engine and inspiration!
I felt inspired to write about this topic, probably due to my judgment that my life experience and advice could be useful to you, especially because the topic of self-love is truly an inexhaustible source. A healthy self-loving feeling is essential for progress and development in all areas of life. Once we start appreciating and showing respect to ourselves, our environment and people around us will start changing their behavior towards us too.
Some of you might think or say out loud things like: “Well yes, but loving myself is also a bit selfish” or perhaps “Of course I love myself; it is just very difficult to find the time for me and my needs only”. Surely, these and a handful of other thoughts have crossed your mind.
To be honest, even though I am sharing this text with you today, I have to admit that I have personally started working on the relationship with myself only in the last couple of years. A lot of life disappointments, insecurities, lack of self-confidence, and the like, did not exactly lead to that final goal of starting to really love and respect myself. Not enough patience was shown from my side either, and I wanted a quick solution. If possible, the most convenient solution would have been for someone else to think about it instead of me, in order to avoid getting to know myself even deeper and change for the better. I would take three steps forward and then two steps back, which often made me feel completely lost and tired.
Although I looked at myself through a rather negative prism, other people, even people close to me, had a completely different picture. A confident, persistent, strong woman who can do anything! A ‘woman dragon’ they would say! Those were their words when they described me. As you might know, it often happens that others see in us traits that we are sometimes not even aware of. We should thank them for that since in that way they encourage and embolden us even more! In my case, my education to become a coach along with many other workshops, training, educational seminars and tools, definitely helped me a lot.
If she can manage it, so can I! The question is “how”?
If someone asked you to list 3 to 5 things that you consider positive about you, probably you would stop for a moment. On the other side, if someone asked you to list 3 to 5 negative things, your flaws, you would surely say them in the blink of an eye. Interesting, isn’t it?
Unfortunately, a high probability that you have people around you who emphasize only your less positive traits surely stands. Simply start avoiding people like that. They will, slowly and with time, as you start loving and respecting yourself more, work on recognizing your positive qualities and in the end even disappear from your life encirclement. And you, you will start to love your flaws, to work on them and finally improve them, because, for God’s sake, no one is perfect.
There are a lot of techniques that you can use in order to help you on this journey. I will share with you the one that helped me.
Phase 1. Buy a notebook. Let it be cheerful, with lots of bright colors. Let it be super positive!
Write down at least 3 to 5 of your positive traits in the notebook each day. You can also write down any beautiful, inspiring and positive situations you experienced throughout the day. Or, write down any good things you did that day for your children, parents, friends, colleagues … It doesn’t really matter what it is that you write. The most important thing is that those words be positive! You can note them down in the evening or in the morning when it best suits you. If you skip one day, be sure to make up for it the next. If you are unsure about what you should write, ask a dear friend to come to your aid.
Remember, it has to be nice and positive! The goal is, when you browse and read over those pages again, a smile should shine on your face! The point is to realize that you are really worth it!
That is exactly when the second phase begins. Now continue to write about gratitude and what you are grateful and thankful for. It can be small things or big things. You may be grateful that it was a sunny day, that you had a coffee with a colleague, that you got a taxi right away, bought your favorite fruit on the way home. That you are safe and sound, healthy, have friends and a roof above your head. There are so many things to be thankful for.
If something bad happened, feel free to write that down as well. Rest assured that once you return to reading about that event after a certain period of time, you will come to the conclusion that even though it was seemingly a bad event, in the end it actually brought you well. Be grateful for that too. Nothing happens by accident.
With time, you will feel more energetic, braver, more confident. Appreciate every moment and always know that when you are happy and satisfied with yourself, others can only get a greater good from it.
Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Love yourself.
Self-love is not a luxury; self-love is a necessity.