Does stress change not only how we feel, but also what we see, hear and notice?
When we are under pressure, our attention naturally narrows. We reach conclusions more quickly, listen less, interrupt more often and become more likely to hold on to what we already believe to be true. This happens because our nervous system is trying to move us through a situation it perceives as demanding as quickly and efficiently as possible.
In that state, we tend to focus on what feels most urgent, loudest or most familiar. The problem is that important information is often found elsewhere.
- We may not fully hear what someone is trying to tell us.
- We may fail to ask the question that could completely change our perception of the situation.
- We may overlook an option that is not immediately obvious because we have already decided what we think is happening.
This is why calmness in leadership matters not only because of how others feel around us. It also matters because of the quality of our own perception.
When the nervous system is more regulated, we have greater capacity to pause, listen and remain curious for a little longer. We do not need to have an immediate answer. We are better able to notice nuance, hear different perspectives and see more than one possible way forward.
This does not mean that a leader should remain completely calm in every difficult situation. That would not be realistic, and short-term stress can sometimes be useful.
What matters more is recognising the moment when stress begins to make decisions for us. You may notice tension in your neck, shoulders or jaw, a sense of restlessness, faster breathing, or a racing heartbeat. From a somatic perspective, this is particularly interesting: the body often registers the shift before the mind is able to clearly name what is happening.
So, before making an important decision, it may be worth pausing for a moment and asking yourself:
Am I really seeing the whole situation or only the part of it that my current state allows me to see?
