Last week I wrote about leaders who say “I” when things go well, and “we” when they don’t. This week, I want to take it a step further.
Every leader I’ve worked with wants to be respected. But: Respect cannot be demanded. It must be earned. And it’s not earned through perfection.
It’s earned through presence, patience, and openness.
- Allow team members to make mistakes.
If you’re constantly correcting, fixing, or “stepping in,” you’re not leading – you’re controlling. Mistakes are part of growth. If your team isn’t given the space to learn, how can they ever improve? Respect comes from support, not pressure.
Next time someone on your team makes a mistake, pause. Notice your body. Take a breath. Then respond – not from anger, but from curiosity.
Ask:
- “What did we learn?”
- “What can we do differently next time?”
- Don’t pretend to know everything.
If you’re unsure about numbers, facts, or decisions – don’t speak just to sound confident.
Silence is not weakness. A grounded “I don’t know” is far more powerful than an ego-driven answer.
If you’re not sure, try saying:
- “I need to double-check the data. Let’s revisit this tomorrow.”
- “Can someone help clarify this?”
- “Let’s slow down and do this right.”
Your body will tell you when you’re speaking from ego instead of wisdom. Listen to it.
- Your nervous system sets the tone.
If you’re anxious and reactive, your team will feel it. If you’re calm and grounded, that will reflect in them too.
Your leadership doesn’t begin only with your words. It begins with your body.
