After 30 years in banking industry and 10 years of coaching, very little surprises me. But this one does whenever clients pick this as their topic. Some leaders still use “I” when things go well, and switch to “we” when something goes wrong.
“I finished the deal.”
“We missed the target.”
Sound familiar?
This old habit is a sign of ego-driven leadership and in 2025, it feels completely out of place. Today’s world calls for leadership that’s conscious, emotionally intelligent and human.
Why does this happen?
- Ego and identity – Many leaders still tie their self-worth to success. When things go well, they want the spotlight. When things go wrong, they spread the blame to protect themselves.
- Fear of responsibility – Admitting a mistake takes courage. Saying “I got it wrong” or “That was my fault” means being vulnerable but also very brave. Not all leaders are used to that or have learned how to do it.
- Old-school hierarchies – In traditional corporate cultures, hierarchy ruled. Leaders at the top took the credit, and teams took the fall. That mindset is still present.
What can be better?
As a somatic and leadership coach, I’ve seen how powerful embodied, inclusive leadership can be. That’s the kind of leadership that says:
- “We did it” when celebrating a win.
- “I take responsibility” when things go wrong.
- “What can we learn?” when facing challenges.
Tips for leaders:
If something goes wrong, notice your reaction. Do you point fingers? Can you take responsibility?
Next time you feel like saying “I” after some win, pause. Feel your feet on the ground. Breathe. Think about the people who helped make it happen.
