Honesty and vulnerability are often celebrated as essential traits in leadership. And they truly are. These qualities build trust, foster connection and create authentic relationships. But let’s be honest, they don’t feel like strengths in every situation, especially when dealing with people who are focused on self-promotion or dominating the spotlight.
When we lower our guard and show our true selves, it can sometimes feel risky. In some cases, this openness is exploited. Self-promoters may use honesty of other people to their advantage, turning vulnerability into a tool to meet their own goals.
How to deal with it?
Self-promoters progress when they control the conversation. You can disrupt their tactics without compromising your authenticity.
- Show strength through confidence – Vulnerability isn’t about being passive. When you express yourself with confidence, it’s hard for others to manipulate openness.
- Set clear boundaries – If someone continuously misuses your honesty, it’s okay to protect yourself while remaining authentic. Don’t let people cross the line. Set clear boundaries, both for your own well-being and to maintain a balanced dynamic.
- Don’t allow others to exploit your trust. If someone has misused your honesty before, don’t give them more chances to do it again. If that happens again, you will need to work on your boundaries.
- Highlight team success – Shift the focus from “I” to “we” in discussions to redirect attention to collective wins.
It’s true – there will always be self-promoters, people who crave the spotlight and sometimes misuse others to stay there. This doesn’t mean you should hold back. Honesty and vulnerability are not weaknesses, but the key is to use them wisely with confidence and boundaries. Stay real and always be yourself.
Message for self-promoters: Be careful because people recognize that pattern of behavior.
