“I’ll carry this sofa for you. Where do you need it? Oh, you look great, by the way!”
We’ve all encountered people like this- eager to help, quick with compliments and always willing to do favors. At first, it feels nice to have someone like that. But over time, you may begin to sense that their actions come with strings attached. They’re not just being friendly, they’re positioning themselves to ask for something later.
In business, we often come across people who seem to be offering genuine support but are really working with their own interests in mind. This doesn’t mean they’re bad people, it’s often a sign of insecurity or a need to win others over. However, as leaders, it’s important to recognize when these exchanges are genuine and when they’re more about getting something in return.
Leading with awareness – While it’s common for people to exchange support in professional settings, there’s a difference between genuine collaboration and someone pretending to be your friend for their own benefit. Building a business relationship on a foundation of friendship and trust is always more reliable than forming one based on favors. It’s easier to work with people who are sincere in their intentions from the start.
When you realize the truth – What do you do when you realize someone was helping you just to get something in return? The answer is simple: stay professional. You don’t need to confront them harshly. Just be aware of their behavior and adjust how you interact with them. Keep things polite, but clear.
There’s a saying: “You only see people’s true colors when they no longer need anything from you.” This can be especially true in business. Some people are thinking ahead, doing things for you today because they might need something tomorrow.
How coaching can help – Leadership and somatic coaching help you recognize these situations before they cause disappointment. Here’s how:
- Awareness: Coaching helps you spot the early signs when someone’s actions are motivated by personal gain.
- Acceptance: Sometimes, you have to accept that people won’t change. Instead, focus on managing your relationship with them.
- Boundaries: Learn when to set clear boundaries so you don’t get caught in situations where you feel taken advantage of.
- Conflict resolution: If conflict arises, handle it calmly. Talk openly about how you see things and invite the other person’s perspective. A little charm and clear communication can go a long way.
Every relationship is unique, and sometimes people’s motives are hard to read. That’s why it’s important to trust your intuition, communicate openly, and stay aware. With the right approach, you can avoid misunderstandings and build stronger, more authentic connections.
