Have you ever noticed how people online can seem super kind, but when you meet them face-to-face, things take a bit of a turn? On the other hand, you have people in a business environment who are always smiling and nodding, being super nice to everyone. And that’s good but wouldn’t it be great if that kindness was genuine?
- Online kindness
In the digital world, meeting people who radiate kindness is common. However, when you bring these online connections into face-to-face encounters, a surprising shift occurs, revealing a gap between the virtual and the real.
- People who are always kind to everyone
Like chameleons adjusting to their surroundings, people in the business world pretend to be kind to everyone, smiling and nodding their heads. It would be nice if it was real.
- Spending time together despite not liking each other
Have you ever noticed colleagues spending time together without being best buddies? It might be driven by shared interests and generally lack of genuine openness and authentic connections.
So, why are people pretending to be friendly and kind? The first three reasons that come to my mind are:
- Adapting to social norms – The pressure to conform to societal expectations, especially in professional settings, often leads individuals to put on a facade of friendliness.
- Self-presentation – Some may adopt a kind behaviour as a strategy to project a positive image to others.
- Fear of judgment and exclusion – The human desire to fit in and avoid judgment can drive individuals to pretend to be friendly, even when it’s not sincere.
Of course, shared interests or just keeping up appearances can also be some of the reasons.
Two things that leaders can do are:
- Encourage a workplace culture that values authenticity, where individuals feel comfortable being themselves without fear of judgment.
- Foster an environment where honest and open communication is encouraged, allowing individuals to express their true feelings and perspectives even if that can cause a debate.
Leaders can set an example by being authentically themselves, creating a culture where authenticity is valued. They should implement training programs that focus on emotional intelligence, communication skills, and building genuine relationships.
Although kindness is extremely important in any workplace, the importance lies in authentic kindness because it is foundation of genuine trust, transparent communication, and lasting connections among team members.
